LOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIP

August 31, 2017

LOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIP

I love water. Yes, I would love to play water anywhere, but I hate to put my face into the water and get my whole body wet 😅 "Problem laa this girl" 👈 this is what my friend will say 😂.

The thing is, I am seriously scared of height and deep water, especially when I cant see the bottom of it 😱😰. I hate to go my whole body (head to toe) down into the water. Why? Cause I feel like I am drowning. I have traumatic of drowning, seriously. It happened when I was around 10 years old, 2002. Back then I was a good swimmer among the kids 😎.

Short story. When I was swimming in 2m deep pool, suddenly I got cramp on one of my legs (I forgot which one), so I cant move. I was scared, my heart beat so fast, it made me difficult to breath, headache yes, then drowning. Ugh..I drunk much water then. Fortunately, my uncle was near so he jumped to rescue me asap. But still, I went through those feeling of drowning that I couldn't over come it until now.

After that happened, I never swim again. I never even went near to the pool until 2010 when I started my university life and had new friends who turns out love to swim. So whenever we have swim date, I went together with them to the pool. Guess what, I am the only one who just sit, taking pictures, videos, eat, and sometime sleep on a couch besides pool #ups..

But one day, one of my friend (yes you, back then we are still friend 😄🤘❤️) encouraged me to learn how to overcome my trauma. So after 3rd times going to pool doing "not pool-things" 😅 I decided to touch it again. At first, I was just going a quarter down (read: my legs only), start playing with water, then going half, then 3/4 of my body and start walking in the pool 😅. I think its 1.25 meters deep cause I could see the bottom of it. After months I started to do swim again but no more than 1.50 meters deep. Why? First I couldn't see the bottom of it, second I cant float 😭🤣. So, basically you cannot call it swim lah, its embarrassing, just say I was starting to play with the water again 😝.

Now, I am living in Malaysia, of course he is not here. Once I went to the pool (yeah my university has a swimming pool, cool!), I tried to go down but I feel very unsafe. Why? Cause he is not there. I need someone I can trust my life with to go into the water; and yes, I trust my life to him in dangerous cases. (Astaghfirullah~ Sirik ini mah masuk neraka 😱 Hanya kepada Tuhan aku berserah diri 🙏)

Yes, Alhamdulillah, finally I found someone who encourage me almost exactly like you did, whom I can trust at least to play water together with me. And funnily, I followed almost everything she said as you back then, "come sit here", "go down here", "lets swim there", "its okay its not deep. See!?", "you can do it", "its really refreshing you should try", aaaaannddd everythings~~~~ 👊

Yes, she is my friend. She is the one who love to suddenly take me to the places that have a lot of water 😄 ain't swimming pool but river, lake, and beach. I love her, I love water! Yeay!!! 🎉 She is the one who told everybody "whenever we (me and her) play water, this girl never put her whole body into it and swim. Problem laa this girl." 😅 Sorry beb..I cant..3/4 is okay for me 😭 Saranghaeee 🙆🏻

Thank you Nurul for being a human that love to suddenly text me "lets play water", "lets go to the river", "lets go to bla bla bla" (anywhere where we can play water) 🙆🏻🌊 Thank you for my Library Gurls too and people around us..thank you so much 🌈 I love you four 💖💖💖💖

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